The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
