i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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