Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
