I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
