im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize