Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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