Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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