Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You ruined the universe
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
