remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
