i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
