you guys were way drunker than both of me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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