okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sext me about skeletons
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
