I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
