i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
