apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
