The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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