he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
