some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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