where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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