the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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