Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
