I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
