I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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