Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
