I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
