I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
