return my video game
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
