well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
