this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
