They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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