Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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