I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
