How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
