i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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