Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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