just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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