just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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