No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
