She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize