Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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