in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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