Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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