How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize