So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
