I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
