i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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