all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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