I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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