Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
