everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
