He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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