Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
