i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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