It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
